Perpetuating Fixation is a photographic series that offers an unflinching glimpse into the world of Chemsex via means of photographic practice. This project was shaped by personal experience and candid conversations with people who have either distanced themselves from the scene or remain immersed in it, To understand why Chemsex is still prevalent in society today. For the most part, Chemsex is not simply a moment of excess or euphoric escape; it's a cycle, a behavioural pattern that gradually weaves itself into the everyday. The title Perpetuating Fixation speaks directly to this loop: the repeated pursuit of sensation, the longing to reconnect or disconnect in the same ways, again and again. The series reframes what is often portrayed as an indulgent lifestyle into something closer to ritual, an act of compulsion and survival in some cases.
Shot entirely in black and white the series deliberately resists the vibrancy typically associated with the Queer nightlife and or scene depicted by traditional senses of photography. The lighting within the images is harsh, directional and isolating. The body, often fragmented and barely visible, but its presence is undisputed. Suspended between vulnerability and anonymity. My intention was never to eroticise the flesh but to underscore its transience and its repetition. The same arm, the same side, further emphasising this perpetual cycle in the form of recurring motifs.
My aim with this project is not to offer definitive answers or resolution, but open space for reflection- both of my own and that of the viewer. How do we cope with desire when it overwhelms us? desire , in this contect, is not simply lust or longing- its is the hunger for connection, escape, validation and obliteration all at once. When that desire becomes the emotional core of the work: not only asking what we seek, but what we risk losing in the process. What remains when pleasure ceases to liberate and begin to numb? I want the viewer to be drawn into that tension- not as a voyeur, but as a witness. This work invites a slower gaze, one that acknowledges discomfort, repetition and the quieter moments that often go unseen.
In its state, Perpetuating fixation becomes a mediation on intimacy, trauma and the quiet rituals of excess. It is both a personal reckoning and a visual language for something that resists easy articulation.
